“Does this blog make me look fat?” blog

Rant Blog: [10/09/2010]
“Does this blog make me look fat?” blog
Well sorry for not having a blog for over 2 weeks, I’ve been busy sorting out college and other things at home. After seeing the last blog’s [dare I say it] success, I thought I’d bring things back down to earth this week whilst still doing my promised bumper issue to make up for the no show last week. With that being said, let’s move onto this weeks blog.

Firstly this week, after England beat Bulgaria 4-0 and Switzerland 3-1 [showing Spain how it’s done], the media is still on Fabio Capello’s back. Why?! Oh wait, they still haven’t got over the World Cup, that’s why. It’s over, it’s been over for weeks, and even so, it weren’t Mr Cap’s [my new name for him maybe?] fault, it was the “London Mafia’s” fault, namely being John Terry and, partly, Frank Lampard’s fault. Be it from Terry spouting lies to the media about the team after the Algeria game to him and Lampard being jealous of Stevie G for being captain. It was a Lampard and Terry vs Gerrard and Carragher situation, and I know which pair I’d rather have in my team. Moving on from that, Capello has taken the blame for the disappointing campaign, despite it not all being his fault, and yet he still wasn’t respected for that. He has came out in the last week or so saying he will step down after Euro 2012 and an English manager will replace him [English managers tending to be shit... Oh dear]. At the time of him being appointed, he was [and still is] the best coach in the world.

After the Switzerland game, he said that Terry, Lampard and Ferdinand will all have to try extremely well to get back into the team, any other coach would shit themselves and say “oh no, these three have to be in the team”, no, no they don’t. I don’t want any of them three to ever play for England again. Rooney should also be dropped until he wants to play for England and be replaced by Crouch. Milner should be dropped as he is a winger who can’t cross a ball and Joe Cole should start in his place. If we use this philosophy, we can win Euro 2012 [call me hopeful, but our team is far too good not to be considered contenders if we play like we usually do]. If the media don’t stalk the team in tournaments every single minute of the day then we might not flop.

There was discussion of Mikel Arteta potentially playing for England because he has played in England for 5 years and not represented Spain [his nation of birth]. UEFA [mainly Michael Platini, surprise surprise, he hates the English!] were quick to dismiss this saying something like “he never had a British passport when he represented the Spain Youth Team” or something like that. Ok, let’s look at other national teams who have had the same situation and been let off to do it, Portugal with Brazilian born Deco and Germany with Polish born strikers Lukas Podolski and Marislov Klose and Brazilian born Cacau. Discrimination against the English again I feel, anyway, I feel that England would suffer if a non-English player played for them and I want England to remain English with English players as this is the point of your national team, not finding loopholes to have other players in your squad. Manuel Almunia is another player who can potentially play for England but hell no, fuck that, I would never trust him in goal for England. Joe Hart all the way!

Moving on from Mr Caps, I want to say one word to all you fake Spanish supporters: “HAHAHAHAHA!” Simply because you support the Spanish because you claim “you support them because you like them”, no you’re basically supporting them for one/two reason/s. These reasons being either:
a) You want to shag one [or eleven!] of their players. Namely Fernando Torres, Sergio Ramos, Iker Casillas, Bojan, David Villa etc.
b) You’re basically glory hunting, supporting them because they won Euro 2008 and then the World Cup 2010 [which they didn’t deserve].

The poor Spanish were rolled 4-1 by Argentina, showing they're an overrated, average team.

What’s wrong with people supporting their own national team or one of their family? I can’t accept “oh because England disappoints”, didn’t Spain do that every single time before 2008? They were one of the favourites for every tournament they entered and yet failed to produce, just like England? I, for one, do not accept that excuse.

Another thing I want to mention, for a bit of fun, is the countdown from 50 to 1 of the 2010 FIFA World Cup’s biggest shocks [this appearing on Britain’s BBC 3 show which I’d like to share and see what the people who don’t live in England and haven’t saw this think about it]. This week I count down from 50 to 41.
50: Fabio Capello
The man who would “deliver the World Cup” etc. Against Algeria, he bullied “Phsycho” Stuart Pearce, on the bench, and even moaning at the media for trying to take pictures through the windows of a building before the World Cup matches began.

49: Holland’s “Dirty” football
When you mention ‘World Cup 2010’ and ‘Holland’, people probably won’t remember them for being probably being the best team in the tournament, them beating Brazil 2-1 after being behind 0-1 behind, beating Uruguay 3-2 in a fantastic semi final or Gio van Bronckhorst’s fantastic goal vs Uruguay. Instead, they’ll be remembered for their so called “dirty football”, against Brazil in some tackles and the final vs Spain.

I personally think their tactics vs Spain were spot on. They stopped Spain playing and even had chances to win the final with Arjen Robben having 2 fantastic chances to score. If Holland had of won, they’d have easily deserved it.

48: Joachim Low [Germany Manager]
Joachim Low eating his own bogey from his nose. He didn’t half pick it well, then proceeds to roll it up a bit, then eats it. It shows that some people never grow up.
Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocT4O27onec

47: Diego Maradona’s charismatic nature
Diego was back and as energetic as always, despite finding a few extra pounds on his weight from those burgers, and drugs *cough* *cough*. Be it from hugging his players when they score or enter the field, to being asked by the English press if he had a thing for his players and him perhaps learning this as a player, his affection for others, the question being a joke, and Maradona ,then opening his eyes like he was possessed when asked, responding by saying he has a wife and kids and he only likes women haha.
Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KA5fH7Xw9wI

46: Theo Walcott
Despite not going to the World Cup, he is still in this list, the media thinking Walcott should have gone to the World Cup. I would’ve agreed, had he not been injured for 3-4 months, getting back from injury about March/April and then having a torrid end of season. If he was on form, then yeah, he should definitely have gone. If I’d have known Rooney would’ve been that shit, I’d have moaned that Walcott should’ve gone instead of Rooney beforehand.

45: Ivory Coast’s Emanuel Eboue
Classic clip from the World Cup, where the North Korea manager is talking to one of his players and Emanuel Eboue stands near to them, listening in, and then having the cheak to nod his head, agreeing and walking off. Priceless!
Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6LFZJIm3mD0

44: Ray Domenech

It was a torrid campaign for the French and they refused to train after the Anelka debacle, the fitness coach had an argument with Evra and left the training pitch. Ray Domenech then had to read out a letter from the team about why they wouldn’t train, ultimate shame for Domenech. What made things worse for Domenech was when he refused to shake hands with the South African coach when France were beaten 2-1 in the final game and knocked out and sent home.
Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eBQJPkyLPPA

43: Portugal’s Cristiano Ronaldo
Cristiano Ronaldo was being talked up as bringing Portugal to new heights, how they were so wrong. The one thing Ronaldo will be remembered for is, not his goals, his spit at the camera when Portugal were beaten 1-0 by Spain. He told the camera man to back off, he never, so Ronaldo, being the dirty bastard he is, spat at him. Don’t worry Ronaldo, you can bag a winner with a prostitute.
Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8L010TGqCVs

42: ITV HD missing England’s first goal vs America
‘ITV HD: See everything in the highest quality’, including the World Cup shows sponsor advert instead of England’s goal.. Poor by ITV, this being the second time they have done this when someone scores in a big game, they done it in 2009, too, when Gosling scored for Everton vs Liverpool in the FA Cup 3rd Round replay in the 118th minute.
Link for England missed goal: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fjghz--qSMU
Link for Everton’s [almost] missed goal: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NGCw0UjYR1I&feature=related

41: South Africa score the first goal of the World Cup on home soil
A great start for South Africa in the first World Cup held in Africa. Tshabalala putting South Africa ahead with a fantastic goal. They went on to draw 1-1 with the Mexican’s.
Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEJwrVHR06I&feature=related [I chose this version because the commentary makes the goal so much more special].

Number's 40 - 31 next week.

The silly Yanks believe that American Football [Gridiron] is better than Rugby. Let’s just say “What the fuck are you yanks playing at?” I’ll call ‘American football’ Gridiron from now, as that’s what we call it as it’s not technically football, you don’t kick the ball much. Gridiron, a game where fat people run at each other in armour, wait, in armour? Which faggots play sports in armour? Oh yeah, that’s it, Americans!... Don’t give me the “oh they’re keeping safe”, Rugby uses no armour whatsoever apart from a cup to cover their bollocks, that’s it. Put a Gridiron player against a Rugby player, and the Rugby player will outrun and outmuscle a Gridiron player. In Gridiron, it’s a stop/start game, hence why they look healthy, because they’re always having breaks, in Rugby it’s non stop unless there is a blood injury or a broken bone, like football. There was an old story where the British offered the Americans a game of Rugby vs Gridiron, where the British used what they wore in Rugby and Americans what they wore in Gridiron and they’d have a half of Rugby and 2 quarters [or whatever half the time of Gridiron is] and see who won, and the American’s refused because they were too scared. Rugby beats any sport the American can think of, it’s almost [and I mean almost] as good as football.

Finally this week, Big Brother is FINALLY off our TV, finally, finally, finally! What a shit program that is, twats who want fame on TV by being dumped in a house for 3 months. The only way we’d get great entertainment from that show is if we put all the government in that house and throw away the key! Finally it’s gone.

Sorry for the delay in the blog, but all is back to normal now. Comments by anyone are welcome and please try to be friendly haha.